What are we doing when we gather together? There are all sorts of people who want to know the answer to that question:

- Non-Christians who are wondering if there’s anything to following Jesus.
- Ex-Christians who are leaving the church because their time with other Christians seemed like a waste.
- Christians who are sitting in seats looking at the back of people’s heads wondering if there’s more to the Christian life.
- Pastors who are scratching their heads wondering what happened to all the people.

I’m sure there are others demanding answers and I understand where each of these groups are coming from. There are also other questions that we should be asking: How often should we get together? Where should we meet together? How long should we be meeting together? Who should lead our times together? Should anyone be leading anything?

The operative word in all of these questions is “should”. (You thought it was going to be “together” didn’t you?) We all know something is wrong. We all know there’s something missing. But what is it? What is it that should be? Doesn’t the Bible talk about Christian fellowship, brotherly love, you know, all those “one anothers”? We are missing the mark in our interdependence and interconnectedness with one another and something should be done about it.

So, what should Christians be doing when we get together?

We should be Loving one another
If there is someone in my church fellowship that I am refusing to talk to then I’ve got a big problem. It doesn’t matter what he or she did, if I know there is a wedge between the two of us then I am being disobedient to God if I’m not attempting to reconcile with them.

If something comes between me and my wife I don’t give her the silent treatment indefinitely…we work it out. There are too many people who refuse to worship with other Christians because they’ve got a problem with someone else in the body. That is a big problem.

Colossians 3:14 says, “Above all, put on love – the perfect bond of unity.” The “above all” refers to the short list of things we should be putting on as Christians: hearts of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, etc. Those are the sorts of things we express to one another because of our love. Love wraps all those other gifts into a beautiful package that can be given away daily to our church family.

We should be Praying for one another
Praying for one another sounds easy doesn’t it? I think most Christians know that when we get together somebody needs to pray. I’m not too fond of being asked to pray simply because of the fact that I’m ordained. Like I have some special connection with God that no one else has.

We have to stop spending all of our prayer time praying for those twice removed from us. God’s desire is that we pray for His kingdom and glory. That’s priority one! Praise him, exalt him, ask him to use you to advance his kingdom, etc. A close second to that is praying for one another. Open up! Share what God is doing in your life. What spiritual challenges are you facing? Where are you being tempted?

Praying for those twice removed from us is safe because it doesn’t expose our inner turmoil. We might actually have to admit that we don’t have everything together. That’s hard, but we aren’t truly praying for one another if we’re only praying through a laundry list of people and problems who aren’t sitting in the room at the moment. Be an adult and share!

We should be Caring for one another
To care for one another means we have to know one another on a deep enough level to know each other’s needs. We should always be asking this question: What needs am I uniquely positioned by God to meet today?

Maybe you are meant to meet the needs of your spouse or children, your neighbor, your friend, your pastor, or your student. Maybe you have the ability to meet a financial need. Maybe you have the blessing of time that you can give to someone. Maybe you are able to listen, teach, advise, encourage, give joy, build, share, volunteer, sing, cook, repair, hold a hand, or provide a shoulder.

A gathering church should be a mobilizing church. When we learn how to meet each other’s needs, it’s often that God will open up doors for us to meet the needs in our community. Find a need. Meet a need.

We should be Trusting one another
My friend Mark recently gave me a point to ponder. He asked, “Have you ever thought about how Jesus got the disciples to trust one another?” We had been talking about how at least two of the disciples had political views of hatred towards the Romans and then there was Matthew who had sold out his fellow Jews to work for the Romans – collecting taxes no less.

Unfortunately, we don’t have a whole lot of glimpses at the interpersonal relationships of the disciples other than the arguments they got into and the times Jesus had to correct their foolishness. Sounds a lot like us doesn’t it? Regardless of our political or cultural or generational outlook, we need to learn how to trust one another. It takes time, vulnerability, and effort, but it’s worth everything we put into it.

We should be Challenging one another
Another sentence from Colossians 3 says: “Let the Word of Christ dwell richly among you, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom…” (v. 15) I also love Hebrews 10:24-25, which says, “Let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works, not staying away from our meetings, as some habitually do, but encouraging each other…”

So, our meetings are characterized by encouragement, concern for one another, prompting each other to love and good works, and consistency according to the writer of Hebrews. The first verse from Paul to the Christians in Colossae says we are to teach and admonish one another, which is how the “Word of Christ” becomes richly indwelt among us. This includes a sermon that a pastor might give to everyone but it also includes a timely word, rebuke, encouragement, or advice between two or three friends.

Conclusion: A Vision for the Church
So how long and how often should we gather together? Where should we be meeting? When? The answer is, wherever and whenever and as long and as often as it takes to truly and deeply connect with each other as described above.

Can all of that be done in one day? In one hour? It’s important to realize that one of the greatest gifts we can give is time. We need to spend more time in smaller, more intimate gatherings without forsaking the larger, more celebratory gatherings.

Imagine groups of three, four, ten, or eleven coming together throughout the week praying and caring and trusting one another deeply, consistently, and faithfully. They call each other when they are having a crisis. They can’t wait to share good news with their small group of fellow believers. They connect with each other often because they love each other. They’ve become family.

Now, when all these interconnected groups of loving, caring, praying people gather together with other small groups of loving, caring, praying people there is really a cause for celebration. They are able to celebrate what God is doing in their gatherings and what God is doing in their community. They don’t just show up for a Sunday song and sermon, they are expecting God to challenge them, move them and change them.